Now for my rant.......would you take poison because it was pretty? That's what some relationships are, poison, however that package is so pretty we just keep taking it while our souls wither and die from neglect and toxic buildup. When the poison runs out, people do anything to get it back again. GOOD people, wonderful, smart, bright, gorgeous, people who have somehow discounted themselves enough to want poison. "I love him/her so much I may not survive without them, I even have shakes" yeah that's withdrawl, like from drugs. If you know who you are, really know yourself, hopes, dreams, fears and strengths, you will not allow this to happen to you. If you love yourself enough to want what's best for you, you will not allow anothers' confusion to affect you. Know what you really want. No shortcuts. Then honor that knowledge.
What about the guy/gal you met who was so perfect for you? Always calling and texting sweet nonsense? They stop showing the love and we want that back. That's our 'proof' we are loved and how dare they take that away? If we keep waiting for him or her to change, or change back, we are living in lala land. People DO change, however for now, all you can do is to change YOU.
Are you one of those people who keep mental or even physical lists? I called him the last 3 times and the last 4 dates, I was the one who suggested where we go. I sent him a cute card and he has never given me a card. I bought a sexy teddy and he never even complimented me on it.
Do you break up and make up hoping the thought of losing you forever will make him change?
What if he did that to you? "I am breaking it off because you expect 3 texts and a phone call a day". Then a month later he gets back with you hoping now you will be content with just a text. Mean and manipulative, don't you think?
If you want the perfect man for you, you have to be the perfect woman for him. YIKES no one person is perfect. So the answer is being the best you can be for yourself.
If 'Joe' is not making you happy, give the poor guy a kiss on the cheek and walk away. Why waste years on a person who has no interest in being with you? Have you told Joe what you want? Are you sending him mixed signals? Think hard what you and especially your actions are saying to him.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Letting Go of the Past
No Trumpets sound when the important decisions of our lives are made. Destiny is made known silently. Agnes de Mille
We can change our lives in the next year by letting go. Letting go of the thoughts that torment us. Like "I need a lover" or "My lover is lousy". How can you attract the lover you want when you are not practicing self love? This is not ego based or selfishness, it is refusing to give those tormenting thoughts, another thought. Just letting them GO because they do not serve you anymore. It's about kindness to self. It's about changing how you feel about yourself and de-stressing as much as you can. It's about feeling good about the decisions you are making to give yourself peace. Because peace and happiness go hand in hand. It's about giving up the man who never stepped up anyhow. Who never saw you for who you are. This is about changing the "If only I had _____" into the "I think I will". It's not about him. It's not about your relationship with him or lack of. It's about your relationship with self. You. Start with you.
"She let go.
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around in her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the 'right' reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn't ask anyone for advice.
She didn't read a book on how to let go.
She didn't search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn't promise to let go.
She didn't journal about it.
She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn't analyze whether she should let go.
She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn't do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn't call the prayer line.
She didn't utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn't good and it wasn't bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone on her."
~Earnest Holmes
We can change our lives in the next year by letting go. Letting go of the thoughts that torment us. Like "I need a lover" or "My lover is lousy". How can you attract the lover you want when you are not practicing self love? This is not ego based or selfishness, it is refusing to give those tormenting thoughts, another thought. Just letting them GO because they do not serve you anymore. It's about kindness to self. It's about changing how you feel about yourself and de-stressing as much as you can. It's about feeling good about the decisions you are making to give yourself peace. Because peace and happiness go hand in hand. It's about giving up the man who never stepped up anyhow. Who never saw you for who you are. This is about changing the "If only I had _____" into the "I think I will". It's not about him. It's not about your relationship with him or lack of. It's about your relationship with self. You. Start with you.
"She let go.
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around in her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the 'right' reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn't ask anyone for advice.
She didn't read a book on how to let go.
She didn't search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn't promise to let go.
She didn't journal about it.
She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn't analyze whether she should let go.
She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn't do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn't call the prayer line.
She didn't utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn't good and it wasn't bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone on her."
~Earnest Holmes
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