Happy?

I have several male clients. What they can't seem to 'get' is why, when they try so hard, SHE is never happy and it's never enough. They always seem to fall down on their full time job which is to MAKE HER HAPPY. The fact that she is not a happy person anyhow never seems to occur to anyone. The guys (bless their hearts) just keep trying.

Now if I was talking to their female counterpart I would hear "He used to text me 10 times a day and call me at least 4 times a day just to hear my voice". That was before. Before what?
Before he realized he was spending 4 to 5 hours a day on the phone, before his work fell far behind and the boss was screaming, before he started to understand that if he was calling 4 times a day, you wanted 6.

This whole subject of happiness really bothers me because everyone out there wants the other to make them happy. It's not possible. You have to make yourself happy. No one can do that for you. No one can love you the way you can love yourself, and I am not talking about the ego here. Nothing will make the ego happy for more than a few moments. The man/woman cannot ever make you feel happy or validated for long. Life just moves too quickly for that.

What are you doing to make you happy? Why are you expecting another to take better care of you than you take care of yourself? Thats just wrong. It is not anothers' duty, it belongs to you and you alone.

In my 30's I was so busy with kids, a demanding job and a host of other things. It never occured to me that I was supposed to even try to be happy. I filled out one of those silly questionaires
in a waiting room and one of the questions was "What do you like to do for fun?" I had no answer. Fun? I was supposed to have fun? When was I supposed to fit THAT in? I thought for weeks about what I would like to do, and I decided to take painting classes. Once a week. Wow,
imagine that 2 hours a week just for me. To this day I love it. I do it for me. It makes me HAPPY. I love everything about it, the mess, the color, the brushes, the canvas I am working on. Now, when I need a shot of joy, I just close my door and paint.

No other person can do for you what you can do for yourself. When you have a hobby or a passion, HE/SHE will still matter, it's just easier to find your own happiness and it takes a load off your mate. Start being responsible for your own happiness. Glow with it. Your mate will surely notice and if for some reason he does not, it won't matter.